1. Don't go in the jungle, dear--there might be snakes.
2. Here, go empty this box of Tide in the Goethals Memorial, would you?
3. Why, of course you can go help burn Sosa Hill!
4. It's raining, kids--go have a blast playing mud football!
5. For the last time...no, you can't have any more fruit!
6. Your Dad and I are going to the Interior for the weekend. Why don't you invite some friends over?
7. Try some of this Cortez...it's really smooth.
8. Hey, kids! It's raining! Why don't you run outside and play?
9. You're watching way too much television.
10. Sure it's all right to chew tar...
11. The rain has already washed that fruit, so it's OK to eat it.
12. You just remember it'll be YOUR pet monkey.
13. I want you home by breakfast, young man.
14. Your friends all run behind the spray truck--what's wrong with YOU?
15. Well, tell the maid to get you a coke.
16. I'm depressed. I think I'll go to Ladies Wear and "shop 'til I drop."
17. Honey, let's paint the house a different color...
18. ...and put in a pool.
19. What a cute little caiman! Let's put him in the bathtub.
20. You're not leaving this house until you get the lawn mowed.
21. "I feel faint" at the sight of blood.
22. Sure you can keep that Sloth as a pet.
23. No, your can't go to see the new James Bond movie.
24. Let's turn off the AC to save some money.
25. Make sure the garbage man picks up that Christmas tree.
26. Why don't you go down to The Pub and invite that nice Dave Furlong home to dinner.
27. Better take a flashlight in case you kids decide to go to Kimbos for a drink.
28. Here's $25, go down to the Hilton casino and have fun!!
29. While you're at the Hilton, try a "Tropical Itch".
30. If a "RAP" offers you a ride, take it!!!
31. If you get called into Mr. Knick's office, just shove him into the waste basket.
32. Why don't you invite Noriega to dinner after the anti-American rally?
33. Of course, you can take my new white pillow cases to Balboa Pool.
34. Absolutely no TV until you finish your homework.
35. Don't make plans for Saturday, we're going to clean out the garage.
36. You can't use the car tonight, the roads are too icy!
37. Lock the door when you leave.
38. Hang up your coat!
39. Put your shoes on before you go out and play!
40. I know you're
lonely, son. Here's some money and the keys to the car. Now why don't you go
down to the Ancon Inn and see if you can meet up with a nice young lady
41. There are so many good choices of clothes at the Commie, who needs the Sears catalog?
42. Here's some money so you can pay Jerome to swim in the ditch behind our house in Coco Solo.
43. Sure, you can stash all those Chistmas trees on our roof (or in the maid's room)
44. I'm glad you ate the raw shrimp I bought you for fish-bait.
45. You can use Dad's Alpha
Romeo for jungle riding any time you want.
Dave Furlong, Elizabeth Bassett, Ed Hauck, Lesley Hendricks, Margie Ward, Karen McCullough, Paul K. Dolan, mnpanama
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Last updated January 24, 2000