Albrook -- Myths You May NOT Want To Know

by Rod Martinez

Someone once wrote: "...often visited Albrook but can't recall what might have been of historical value." Yeah Right!!! You have never heard about the world famous Historical Albrook? This is a little late ... but, better late, than laters. This is all you ever wanted to know about Albrook, but were afraid to find out.

It has been a long time but, native Panama legends tell about a giant, possibly a god, that fell from the sky ... he landed in what is today the Gulf of Mexico and left a big imprint. Modern civilization has for years tried to explain the Gulf of Mexico and never quite been able to swallow the idea that a giant landed here (it does not even look like a foot). Well, recent discoveries in an ancient Mayan temple now prove the whole theory. Apparently, modern people cannot read these messages called y's, but locals can. What they found out about these message y's is that the giant did not land on his feet, but that he did land on his rear end ... Thus, the imprint as we see it today. One hand did touch when he landed someplace in Africa where there is a big depression and a lot of lakes in the area ( the palm and fingers of his left hand). Two big impressions were made by the heels of his feet -- one is at Maricaibo, Venezuela and the other is  right at present day Albrook.

You see, Albrook used to be a big depression until it was filled in by the dirt taken out of Culebra Cut during the construction of the Panama Canal. Several islands were also formed by the mud that came up between the toes when he tried to get up. It is not clear if Taboga is one of those islands that were formed by that mud oozing between his toes.

In the meantime, the y's also give a very good explaination of where the name Panama came from -- it seems that where this giant god came from they had a call that is similar to our yell "Geronimo"  when we jump or fall from a high place... that was "Panama", which he was facing when he landed.  Panama is the sound made when a drunk (from the place where this giant came from) falls on his derriere in a big soquete pit. "Pan.......a........ma!"  ("Pan" -- the sound of the first hit ... "a" -- needs no explanation ... "ma" -- the backwas sound).

Thus, Albrook, Panama, Maricaibo, etc. ... oh, the y's it turns out to be translated to what we call y-messages, you know email!  But that is not even near the end of the historical value of Albrook ... It was here that a lifeguard started the evironmental movement many years ago....I think his name was Carlos...who everytime it would  rain ... quickly grab a rag or one of his t-shirts, whichever was closer, and run to his car to wash it ... saving time, money, natural resources, and other things at the same time.   He is remembered in history as coming up with these famous lines, "Give me liberty or give me a rain shower!" also, "Yo quiero lluvia" (the Taco Bell dog stole his line)!!!

It was here on the hill over at the headquarters building of the Southern Command that Tab Baber looked into the future and said, "What will this place be like in the future?" "What will become of us?" ... not knowing of any of what is presently going on. It was at the post office that someone asked those super famous words repeated by anyone who lived in Albrook, ""How long will this letter take to get to __ __?"

You know where the dirt road that connects the officers' housing to the Flats is located ... the back side of the headquarters mentioned before? There in a big tree at the end of the road on the Flats side, a native group has their village. This group is  world famous for yelling, "Go home Gringo!" Of course, they said it in their native language. I understood what they said ... even though I did not know their language. They would usually start yelling this whenever one wanted to sleep (Sunday mornings) ... did I mention that they were monkeys and have been chanting this for generations?

How many people can you fit in a VW bug?  Well, there was a family of swimmers that used to be at the pool all of the time that could answer that question ... and thus started that fad. Yep, you guessed it! The Walkers! We could go on and on, but I won't.   Instead, I will send a copy of a postcard of that world famous historical site. (The second time I lived at Albrook, my family was in the Flats -- second house on the left from the bottom of the picture.... The Flats??? ... it happens in the 2nd movie -- "The Return of the Giant God!")

Presented by CZBrats
July 13, 1998